Saturday, 3 April 2010
Confessions Of A Teenage Crush, Part Three.
The night of our play came and we were the last directorial piece to go on, which I think is fitting to my diva status that I should be in the headlining act. Sure enough as expected there were gasp from an unsuspecting audience when I planted the kiss on my class mate. The night passed without a glitch and M truly made me feel like a star with all his praise, it was a bit silly really as playing a Northern puff was hardly testing my acting talents.
Soon after our masterpiece of drama M was cast as Sebastian in Cruel Intentions. He had to share the lead with another class mate and performed on alternative nights. His new role in my eyes meant he had gone from second year student to Hollywood heartthrob. As you can imagine I donned my denim splashed jeans and went to see Cruel Intentions every other night for a week.
As the end of the college year approached so did my seventeenth Birthday which brought with it a night I will never forget for the rest of my life. All my class mates went to Bar Risa on Canal Street to celebrate and in attendance were the lovely M and a selection of his beautiful friends. I was wearing a hideous green shirt from H&M that my best friend at the time, and still is today Mirren, had persuaded me to wear. As the Archers Alco pops were downed I decided I would tell M all about my true feelings.
Just after I’d spotted Anthony Cotton and the lady who plays Fizz from Coronation Street and told them how great I thought they were, they were very polite considering I was completely off my tits and no doubt the smell of amyl nitrate was following me, I was dancing with my friend Chantelle when she accidently wacked me over the head with a bottle. The force was such that it saw me with my head between my knees for the next half hour on the stairs. All I needed though for such a recovery was a blast of Sugababes ‘Round Round’ and I was back on my feet.
Another hour later and I don’t know if it was the hit to the head or the 10 bottles of alcopops but I suddenly felt very queasy. My night in shining armour M dragged me down stairs and into a toilet cubical. As I muttered in my drunken state how much I loved him, he said in his velvet voice, ‘what do you want me to do?’ Ceasing my opportunity from the build up of a three month crush I stuttered the words ‘kiss me.’
Just for a split second I thought we had a magic moment. Whether is was my knock to the head or not I believed as I looked into his eyes I saw something there. A twinkle of hope that he just might like me the way I liked him. However, before M had the chance to kiss me, which obviously he would have done as who couldn’t resist a sweating overweight queen with poppers down his top. I spun round and projectile vomited anywhere but the toilet. Our moment was ruined. I the fat faggot had vomited in front of my idol. My life was ruined.
Shortly after that eventful night I dropped out of college and never completed the course. I lost touch with M and was to never see him again. What was to come in the 18 months after that night on June 3rd would leave me a shell of the confident and popular person I was that night……