Saturday, 20 February 2010

Embarrassing Viewing


I love Channel 4 for being ground breaking, after all it brought us Queer As Folk, Brass Eye and Sex & The City to the UK. It is never afraid to push the boundaries, which is exactly what we need in this society which has seen political correctness go fucking bonkers.

I even love Embarrassing Bodies, although admittedly for perhaps not the right reasons. I’m sure it’s brilliant and educational to some, but surely I can not be the only one to watch it just for the fact I want to laugh at the people who are too embarrassed to go to their local G.P about ulcers on their dicks or their seeping fufu (I just can’t say the word), but don’t seem to bat an eyelid about showing the nation. Is it just me who thinks there’s something a little deranged about this?

Last nights episode was a particular favourite of mine. Filmed in Brighton it had all the queens running to that mobile clinic to be checked for herpes they all thought they’d caught from a poppers in fuelled orgy the night before. Probably a check to put their minds at ease, however, I reckon it was the thought of having a pat down from the gorgeous Dr Christian that had them cuing straight from the nightclub at 4am, that and a chance of 15 seconds of fame. I have to admit I had consider getting something stuck up a certain oraphis just to get Dr Christian to brush past me, but then I remembered most house holds don’t have wide screen.

It is one of those programmes that I would not be surprised to see last years Big Brother contestants going on and showing their shingles for a desperate last ditch attempt to raise their profiles, rumour has it Geri Halliwell is on next weeks show with a particular bad case of self inflicted piles. Well let’s face it, that sad bitch would attend an opening for a packet of crisps.

Now I have to admit that there is some very embarrassing footage of me knocking around the internet, I was once in Cold Feet and The Grimleys, well, I was a leading background artiste. There’s also me doing a lovely rendition of Cher’s Turn Back Time uploaded onto a friends face book, and know my loyal readers in my own desperate bid for 15 seconds of fame I am sharing with you a particular favourite video of mine; an amazing rendition of Barbie Girl accompanied by my fellow trolley dolly, Ms Ali McIver. I have even received news that is up for a MTV award for most comical video filmed at 4am in a service station. It’s quite an exclusive category so I’m expecting to win.

Now just before I let you all go, I know Primark has a sale on and you’ll all be chomping at the bit to get there, don’t forget to click the follow link at the side of this page to become a fan of this blog. You can also now join the FaceBook group by searching for Handbags’n’Botox, and finally don’t forget to tell your friends to take a look. Now I really must go, Jeeves has fallen awkwardly on the Dyson again….Dr Christian………
video

2 comments:

Lorna Byrne said...

Fab writing yet again - very funny. Well done, loved it. Now if you'll excuse me this old slapper must rush off to Primark before all the reduced items are sold out...;) x

Sophie said...

Absolutely brilliant....

You should have a column in one of the daily's.....