Thursday, 22 October 2009


Well the bastard is back in town, and not only is he back, he’s back with a fine hunk of a new boyfriend, and he’s looking amazing as well. My ex, that is. Now two years down the line, you’d be right in thinking that I should have moved on. Well I have, just not when it comes to my territory. You see my best friend, although right now I am considering throwing her in the Manchester Ship Canal along with all the other rats and used condoms, bumped into my ex and felt the need to phone me and tell me he’s looking extremely hot and his new boyfriend is stunning, I know what you’re thinking, the bitch. To her defence she is a bit dippy at times and probably had no idea what she was saying would piss me, however I am accepting applications for a new fag hag, so apply within.

Now it is not that I am bitter about his new boyfriend or jealous, I would gladly buy him a drink, spiked with arsenic. What annoys’ me though is the political terms of a brake up. I introduced him to all my friends, as he came from out the area; I also introduced him to my favourite bars. These bars he has now started to frequent on his own. Surly the polite thing to do in this situation would be to find your own bars, bars that you know wont cause an atmosphere with you both being in at the same time. Now as these were places I was getting pissed as a cross dresser on tranny night in and then being swept out with the rubbish in the morning, way before he came on the scene, I consider these to be my territory a long with all the friends I introduced him to. Luckily my friends remain my friends and not his, as they now what would happen to them if they did, but unfortunately I can feel the control of my side of the village slipping away.

What the re introduction of this Barclays banker into my social world brings though, is the reminder that I am still single and without a date for the previous 20 Saturday nights, so readers I put it to you to find me a man. Preferably between 22 and 70, tall or short, fat or thin, rich or poor, sense of humour not important, neither is use of all limbs, not that I’m desperate, just open minded. Apply at, now until next week excuse me, I’m going to go and remind myself that I may be gay by nature, but I’m fabulous by choice.

Mike x x x

P.S if you’re bitter about something let us now, not that we care, we just want a laugh.

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