Thursday, 17 September 2009

KY on a side plate


Iodine: Where shall we meet?
Mucky_Mouth: Corner of Canal Street 7.30
Iodine: Tell me what you're going to do to me again?
Mucky_Mouth: Have you been a naughty boy?

We live in a society where we can get anything online now, including casual sex, and the taboo that once surrounded the subject has seems to have dissapeared quicker than the BigBrother contenestant's dignity.

With services all over the internet to find people; gaydar.com, gay.com, faceparty, etc, you'd be pretty pushed to find someone who didn't have a profile on at least one of these sites on a busy night down Canal Street, or a quiet one come to think of it. My personal belief of these sites is that they're quite sad (ok pot kettle black, I admit I have a profile on one of these sites). Maybe I am just living in the past when I say I'd like to be wined and dined before I'm 69'd, and surely I can't be the only one? I've tried to argue my case with several friends who have profiles on these sites and regularly meet men for sex and they all say the same thing; 'we're in the 21st century now, there's no need for formalities.' I beg to differ.

You go one the internet, scroll throgh profiles until you see someone who takes your fancy, or most probably see someones bits and pieces that tickles you fancy, you send them a message and wait for a reply, they check out your profile (well pictures at least), they like what they see and you hook up and have sex. Ok so there are no formalities, but aren't formalities good? Aren't formalities the chats we have with someone before we discover if we like them or not? Don't the formalities keep us safe? It's those first impressions that count. Formalities are fun, they're social events, meetings in pubs with a few sambuccas, going to the pictures, spending an evening gigling at each others jokes (ok i know i'm starting to sound old but hear me out), flirting and having one too many drinks. You build social skills in these situations, you laugh in these situations, you don't do that sat infront of the computer.

I'm not deluded and I know that dates are not always fun, god knows I've had some bad ones, the man with the receading hair line was a particular bad one, and they can have those awful silences, but at least on those dates you know that the person isn't for you and you don't sleep with them. How can you decide that when your first contact is offering yourself top them with a tube of KY on a side plate? So I maybe 24 going on 40, going on 60 actually, but still wouldn't it be nice to be treated to a meal and an evening of company rather than wham bam thank you mam?

In this day and age it isn't safe to meet up with men off the internet and jump into bed with them (again I know pot kettle black). I'm guessing someone you met off the internet has probably met quite a lot of others in this way, isn't this how STI's spread? Not that I'm saying all people who have sex don't use protection but you can guarantee somewhere along the line somebody hasn't.

So from now on I think I'm going to stick to using my internet for booking my easyjet flights and browing the Victoria Wood fan site. And as for dating, I'll just wait and see who I bump in to, unless you can set me up?

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